Overheard in Made-Up Dublin.

Laced bras with gel pads for five-year-olds, or big people with little tits.
—Are ya a paedo or what?
—No, I just work here. It's my job to pick up kids' knickers.

On the radio with John Kelly:
—And this is the sound of a Korean woman giving birth to a chicken.
—HARAAAAA! RRAAAA! HAAAHAA! Bwowk bwowk. HA HA HOWDEFOCK DID SHE MAKE BIRTH WITH CHIKKEN?

Huang-Hon was expecting an heir, but instead he got a lovely dinner.

And meanwhile in the poshbastard holiday palace in Lancashire, Mrs Thatcher and Cherie Blair were playing with plastic mickeys they got in Sainsbury's, thanks to Jamie Oliver. Try something new every day he says, so instead of prime asparagus, they got prime plastic mickey instead.

I love a bit of tomfoolery in the jacks and a bit of rumpy-pumpy-upon-me-cock.

Popcorn is amazing. It's nature's way of telling you to go to the cinema.

The hindus hate the muslims and everybody hates the jews.

But juring National BrotherHood Wake, Naaashional Brotherhood wake, say Cassius Clay and Mrs Wallace dancing chake to chake with his hand in her gee. O! O! O! he cried and it was O! O! O! all over me cock!

Ffffwtoooom.

Bding.

Ouch!

Angry farmer wipes his eye.

"Thank Jaysus lesbians don't fly."