Chronobramulator

Apply now for your very own

Chronoconsimplohyetocamstothermohygrobaranebramulator!

Applicants are required to have a minimum membership of 20 years to the National Geographic Society.

To achieve the goal of owning your own

Chronoconsimplohyetocamstothermohygrobaranebramulator,

you must first pass The Test. The Test contains questions about the glorious National Geographic Magazine. It is written by the editor, who knows all. Unlike any other test, you need at least 87.2% to pass The Test.

Here are some easy samples to get you started!

1. What was the main feature of the May 1984 National Geographic Magazine?
2. What famous person endorsed the “Big Expensive Rolex”™ on page 15 of the January 1975 National Geographic Magazine?
3. In the September 1992 National Geographic Magazine, you read about Andorra. What did the annual rainfall amount to?

Simply fill out this form and post it to the following address:

Behind the Closet,
Room 28,
Down The Little Lane,
St Fionain’s C.C.,
Swords,
Co. Dublin.

Name:
Address:
Humidity levels in your area:
Favourite N.G. issue
Why do People visit the “Med”?

If you already own a

Chronoconsimplohyetocamstothermohygrobaranebramulator

And want to upgrade to the almighty (heavy) Gold Edition, all you have to do is send back your (crap) Primary Edition and promise you will always stay faithful to all of us here at National Geographic Society. And also hand over the deeds to your house.

Thank you for your ongoing support. Now please give us your subscription for 2007.

When you receive next month’s issue don’t forget to disconnect your phone line and barricade your house and read it for the full month. There is a free map of Ruhr stat in north east Germany. (But what’s, like, wrong with that, that’s ya know like, a statement. What’s the development? Ok fine, ya know, if you don’t wanna learn, ya know, that’s fine, ya know.)